Mentoring Young Coaches

Mentoring Young Coaches
by Kayla Smith (Irondale High School, Lakeville, Minn., North Country Region)

“A mentor is someone who allows you to see the hope inside yourself.” – Oprah Winfrey

Hope means, “to cherish a desire with anticipation.” Going into my first years of coaching, this summed up perfectly how I felt taking those first few steps. My desire for volleyball was deep. I had just finished playing collegiate volleyball and was thrilled to be coaching and teaching the game I loved. I anticipated the potential of each upcoming season, whether it was club or high school, and was so excited to see what each season could bring.

I came to find quickly that coaching is a lot like going back to play. You learn new techniques, you learn to manage conflict and people, and you work to learn quickly from your mistakes. Something I did significantly underestimate, however, was how much I was going to need the support of other people to make me successful (and sane!).

Over my first few years of coaching, there were days that there were breakthroughs. There were days when my expectations were exceeded and then some. There were also days where the hope that was within myself dwindled, and I questioned its ability to reignite.

Some of the most powerful mentoring moments for me have not even been a one-on-one discussion, but rather an encouraging comment or powerful words at a particular moment. I remember early in my first year a veteran coach stopped me at a tournament and asked me how the season was going. Not only did he ask, but then listened not only to my words, but my body language and what they were communicating. All he said back was, “Remember, you are not coaching volleyball, you are coaching people.”

Bam. I was smacked back into reality and back to my coaching philosophy that was beginning to run away from me. This one simple phrase by one coach and his time that he took to care enough to ask and listen were beyond influential.

I think the word “mentoring” can sound intense, like it is a huge commitment that requires a weekly meeting or check in. I am living proof that it is not. On some days it was either a past or in the moment encouragement that changed my outlook or attitude on a frustrating situation.

Over the years that came next, while I never forgot what that coach said to me, I was in tune to how frequently (or infrequently) more interactions like this happened between me and other coaches. My observations concluded that most often the most powerful mentoring “moments” came not from a long, drawn out session, but by a handful of meaningful words or a short pep-talk from a veteran coach. They noticed. They asked. They listened.

Imagine if more coaches were tuned in to moments where they could inspire or encourage a younger coach! Or just another coach, for that matter! Do we not get into this profession to inspire, help people to reach their potential and to coach people? I thought, “Why does that only apply to our players and not to colleagues?”

This thought of mine has been even more solidified as I have worked with the USA Volleyball High Performance Pipeline. I had witnessed something that I had never encountered before. These coaches with whom I worked with had every reason to be cocky and prideful and brush me off as the young coach that I am, and they did not. They did not talk to me about their accomplishments unless I asked. They did not count me as incapable or unknowledgeable. They respected, encouraged and challenged me to take my coaching to a whole new level because of the empowering way they treated me.

This experience has been even more perpetuated through the CAP (Coaching Accreditation Program) courses I have taken. Some of the most knowledgeable and experienced coaches sit and teach you, confer with you, and guide you to the roots of your philosophy of coaching. They do not care about your age or the number of years you have been coaching. They care about making an impact on you so that you can go impact others.

I am not saying that we should run around and superficially speak false things to people. I just can’t imagine the change in our profession if we read each other the way we read our players, and if we looked for teachable moments we seek with our players to encourage another coach. The more coaches I talk to and the more clinics I attend, the more at peace I feel about the challenges I face as a coach because I realize I am not alone. These coaches were young once, too!

The funny thing is, I guarantee if I called up each of the veteran coaches who took advantage of a critical mentoring moment and ask them if they remember, they may or may not. My guess is that they would not, because it is something that is so much a part of who they are. Little did they know that the small investment in me ignited me to want to do the same to other coaches, and also pay that forward to my players.

I think that our autopilot as humans is to be in survival mode as a coach. We are constantly multi-tasking 10 things at once and making sure that we are getting results. These powerful coaches challenged me to think of the process, not the outcome. We are here to coach people, not volleyball. This is something I remind myself of when I get frustrated or unsure of a solution to a problem.

I think that this encouragement happens when we are intentional about remembering that we are always coaching people, whether it is collaboration with colleagues in our field or working with our team. “A mentor is someone who allows you to see the hope inside yourself.” Look for the moments when you could help affirm some wavering hope in a fellow coach, whether they are just beginning or a veteran.